So I wanted to take a break to discuss some things about Self-Publishing…and ..forgive me because this may go all over the place. It’s not intentional but there’s a lot of things on my mind at the moment.
Having had a bout with a few “cyber bullies” on GR, it came as a genuine shock to me. I don’t know why it did. No, I take that back, I do know why. It came as a shock because so far in the self-publishing circles I’ve encountered, it has been one of the most fulfilling and generous communities I’ve ever encountered. And then They happened.
As I mentioned previously, it triggered some bad things in me. I learned a valuable lesson. I laughed a bit and then I carried on. I even received some very encouraging emails on GR that showed me even more support via links, etc. I cannot express how grateful I am to them. I’m a learner. I absorb information like it’s mana from the heavens. So the further I read about things like this, the more I’m understanding.
I get it now.
Everyone has a right to feel the way they do. I’m not disputing their right to feelings and emotions. I’m disputing the right they have to project those feelings onto other people. People that work very hard and jump through hoops to get their book passed around to an editor, get rejected, etc., are pissed off when works they deem unworthy get all this love. Oh yeah I get that. Trust me! I’ve vented about it, myself! But I’ve vented to friends in private. I don’t go and stomp on them like Rhinos putting out a campfire. The fact remains, people are buying it.
Do you know what that says?
That says that the Publishing Industry is no longer in control of what people want. The People are. And we are surprised because We were controlled in our reading, and our exposure. So we need to take a look within ourselves and realize that this is the revolution of “the art” and adapt.
You have to write what you want to write, for you. And stop worrying about sales. I’m saying this to myself as much as to everyone else. We think sales validate us, or our work. I swing back and forth. I feel bi-polar! But from the depth of my heart I really am just enjoying the entire experience. I love the interaction. I can’t help but want to share..I’m excited! I’m proud of what I did!!
If you don’t like it, I’m okay with that. I really am. I don’t like every book I pick up even if I like the person writing it. I don’t like every movie my favorite actor is in. It’s… o k a y. It’s only expression. Some people will get it and appreciate it and some people won’t. I don’t decorate my home for people outside to approve, do you? No, I decorate it so when I come in and I’m away from the world I can relax and feel like me. That is exactly how and why I write. So that I can be me by expression.
I don’t need kid gloves if you don’t like my work. Please tell me if you don’t! I thrive off of creative criticism. I want to grow. You’ll see work from me in all kinds of genres, I promise, because if I don’t try I’ll never know. I’ve never known anyone who could get everything right their first time. I admire them for trying, though.
I really hope the cyber-bullies aren’t parents. That’s all I’m going to say. If that’s how you treat the dreams of your child, we’re doomed. Hopefully my fears are unwarranted in that regards.
The beauty of Self-Publishing is that it gave me this amazing opportunity to share my expression with all of you, learn so much about this craft and its people, meet fantastic people who share my dreams and passion, learn valuable lessons, and smile.. a lot. One set back will not keep me down. Matter of fact, a thousand set backs won’t keep me down. I have pretty loyal fans spanning back 13+ years. They’re the ones that encouraged me to do this. I know They will never let me fall.
And they’re much scarier than the cyber bullies. 😉
You have no right to judge what type of cyber bullying I’ve gone through and I did go into hiding only to come back solely to promote my book.
I happened to “like” a well put review that was 1 star. So give me a break about this “not liking when sometime gives you a bad review”.
To go and purposely give bad ratings to a book you’ve never read because your friends are doing it, is a wild pack scenario. To bring the henchmen and pitchforks and obnoxious comments to a well respected site.. Over my *eight* reviews?! At least read my book. At one point in her attack she wanted to read it. Then didn’t. She just wanted to be catty.
I emailed her because I’m doing everything on my own. I don’t know about her infallibility, but I know I’ll make mistakes. I made two… Two mistakes.
Cyber bullying has degrees. I think just because you assume you know me and what I’ve gone through, you can assume this was over book reviews and it’s not. It’s over UNBOOK Reviews.. Sabotaging a book that has just started (one month exactly) without reading it, giving it a bad rank, getting friends and sheep to rate it and comment obnoxiously who have also not read it. This isn’t high school. This is a website people want to go to about books. If you’re mad at me because I promote my book a certain way, we have personal blogs for that kind of romper room bull shit.
Giving a voice to cyber bully victims should be everyone’s pleasure. Don’t dare tell me I need to be hiding somewhere and not writing about it.
When you get people following you around the Web day in and day out telling you to kill yourself and that they hope your kids die too. That’s cyber bullying lady. I don’t care what you’re opinion is.
I will not be moderating your comment because I have a feeling your one of “her” friends right now. Prove me wrong and I’ll let you be approved.
Perception is very powerful. Imagine two people walking in an art museum. Person A sees a painting thinks it’s the most beautiful thing they have ever seen. Person B sees it and thinks it’s the ugliest thing they ever see. Neither Person A or Person B is right and neither of them are wrong. But there are some common threads that each person has.
In order to appropriate critique something it should be viewed and read and based upon the content of the material. A book is really no different than a portrait or a painting. Sure there’s words and grammar and the art of telling a story that’s all part of the craft.
But that’s just it.. a review.. a critique, call it what you want, but one should be able to articulate their thoughts without resorting to personal attacks upon the author. Evaluate the content.
But we live in a society still where men still make more than women, and women are expected to “dress a certain way, objectify themselves.” A new study showed that “Obese workers overall suffered a wage penalty in the range of 1.4% to 4.5%. The penalty for obese women ranged from 2.3% to 6.2% vs. a range of 0.7% to 2.6% for men.” This has nothing to do with the quality of their work at all and simply based off a personal judgment.
Make no mistake about it.. that’s discrimination and there are places that have bans on weight discrimination.
As of late, the torches and pitchforks have been held mighty high as of late and perception is reality. No one has any right to devalue someone else’s experience and to say how someone else would handle a situation. We all have different coping skills and strategies to deal with situations. It’s not always effective or appropriate, but no two people or going to respond the same to any situation.
But I digress.. Those of us who personally know the Author also have a good enough relationship with the Author to tell her that hey “I don’t like xyz” because we have that relationship built enough to hold each other accountable and because we care about each other enough, we want them to grow and improve as individuals.. as people.. as authors.. artists, etc. I also have a good enough friendship with the Author to tell her when I didn’t like or enjoy something and just because it’s not openly out there, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.
I have nothing else to say on the matter.