No offense, but no one wants to listen to someone who is always cheerful, all the time.

I get it. And I am on the same page with you. There’s such a thing as toxic positivity. Sometimes, people go way too fast with it and it’s like they are in denial.

For me, I try not to feel hopeless or slip into the ever-looming shadow of depression. Couple that with wanting some sense of control, I’ve decided to change my approach.

Step 1: Knowing exactly what the situation is

Knowing all the details of a situation is vital to making decisions. Gather all the facts and deal with emotions first. No decision should be made when you’re emotional but it’s also OK and healthy to process those emotions.

Step 2: Make decisions with the most benefits.

Notice I didn’t say, “make decisions that benefit YOU.” Not everything revolves around one person. Even if it did, that would make the deciding process harder as well as place more responsibility on one’s shoulders. Making decisions aren’t always easy and sometimes finding the benefits seem impossible. Whichever way you decide, having the most amount of benefit to back it up is like validation of it being the correct decision.

Step 3: Make one decision at a time.

This one is important. Don’t try to make more than one decision at a time. Give each challenge in front of you it’s due respect. Treat it accordingly and you’ll find your mind doesn’t wander (as much) or shut down because you’re overwhelmed with emotion and facts.

Step 4: Trust your decisions

Whether your decision is right or wrong you should trust your judgement call and reasons for making decisions. To do this, you must follow the previous steps. You cannot cheat. You cannot take the elevator. You need to climb to the top, one step at a time, until you’ve reached the summit. When you’ve made it to the top, you now have an unobstructed view of the land before you.

Apply these rules wherever needed. Look inward more often. Be with yourself in silence. Become your own friend and get to know one another. Offer yourself encouragement and support like you would for any other friend.

Follow these steps and I promise you will come away with a stronger mindset and better relationship with yourself.

Let me know your thoughts and if you’ve tried these suggestions, tell me how it worked—or didn’t work—for you.